The Alisha and Aubrey Page

Aubrey and Alisha are two freaky friends of mine. Aubrey is the stranger of the two, and I think she used to swallow paint chips when she was a kid. The send me some crazy stuff that's always good for a smile. Thought you'd enjoy a sample.


THIS IS A POEM~~~

WHAT DO I EAT
I LIKE PIGS FEET

WHERE HAS MY LOCOMOTIVE GONE
ALISHA LOVES JOSH BONE

I LOVE MY RATS CHEESE
MAY I HAVE SOME PLEASE

DO YOU HAVE A TUG BOAT
I HAVE A LAME OLD GOAT

A POEM COMPOSED BY AUBREY


YOU ARE A WIERDO. HEY DO YOU STUFF SMALL RODENTS INTO YOUR JAWS FOR SAFE KEEPING?? OR MAYBE DRESS YOUR AMPHIBIANS UP IN WOMENS EVENING GOWNS?? DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATOINSHIP WITH A FUNGUS??HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO PLAY LEAP FROG WITH AN INSECT AND NOT CRUSHED IT?? IF YOU HAD THE OPPERTUNITY WOULD YOU DEVELOP AN EXPERIMENT BY MATING AN AFRICAN AMERICAN AND A VIETNEMESE PERSON?? THAT WOULD BE THE DAY.HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN ELEPHANT FLY?? IN A PIGS EYE. ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS.

ANOTHER POEM~~~

I WRITE GOOD POEMS
I KNOW SOME GNOMES

I LOST MY FOOT
I THINK ITS IN POOP

I LOST MY THUMB IN VIETNAM
I COULD REALLY GIVE A DAMN

DOES YOUR CAT HAVE CROOKED TEETH
I BET YOU WISH YOU HAD SOME BEETS

I LOVE STINKY RODENT CHEESE
I WOULD LIKE SOME PLEASE

HAVE YOU EVER PASSED A STONE
DONT ASK ME, ASK JOSH BONE

QUESTION: WHAT WUOLD HAPPEN IF YOUR BUTT CRACK WAS SIDEWAYS IN STEAD OF UP AND DOWN?????


IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE BEVERAGES.
PORK IS A NICE SWEET MEAT.
YODA RULES MY WORLD.
I AM GREAT
NEW YEARS
POOP.
POOP IN A ZIPLOC
I THINK YOU ARE WIERD.
I LOVE MILKY WAYS.
I CAUGH THE MOON TODAY
PICK IT UP AND THROW IT AWAY ALL RIGHT
EAT THE FRUIT KISS THE SNAKE GOODNIGHT
THAT IS A SUPER SONG'

I SWEAT LIKE PIGS FEET
I LOVE LIMA BEANS
I DREAM OF RACING SNAILS
I RULE THE THE FUNGUS KINGDOM
I AM THE MUSHROOM PRINCESS
YOU MAY CALL ME ARUBA.



Some of the stuff by Alisha is wierd and some of the other stuff is actually rather brilliant poetry. The really good one is last.


windex is blue
and sometimes clear

it will clean
keep a bottle near

but do not drink
it will make you ill

and when you fall
the windex will spill


LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS OH MY
I'LL BAKE THIER BODIES IN AN APPLE PIE
THEY TASTE YUMMY AND OH SO SWEET
LIONS AND TIGERS ARE MY FAVORITE TREAT

TO MANY PARASITES, THEY PLAY HOST
BUT THEY'RE THE MEAL I LOVE THE MOST


The Night Before Christmas When Santa Died

santa was shot
out of the sky
oh my gosh
i hope santa dies

he landed on
his big rump
he landed on
a guy that was plump

but it is all funny
and good
cause i do
what i should

i tore his list
after he fell
and beat him
with a sleigh bell

now he is gone
his burden i shed
and i'm glad
that s.o.b. is dead



*The good one*

I'VE TRIED TO BURN THE DEATH AWAY

I've tried to burn the death away
And make you sad for what you say
But you can't keep from unleashing pain

And I've tried to burn the death away

I've tried to burn the death away
As you sit quiet, looking on as I lay
You have thoughts of another place
Your seeing me there in crimson and lace
And I've tried to burn the death away

I've tried to burn the death away
While I'm searching for a sign of day
You want me to come and join the games
With those who are figures without any names
And I've tried to burn the death away

I've tried to burn the death away
While you insisted on a constant fray
I turned to you with a hungry knife
And watched you kneel and beg for your life
And I've tried to burn the death away

I've tried burn the death away
By cutting you open and letting blood spray
But when you were drained, the mess was great
And the stains that are left represent my hate
And I've tried to burn the death away

I've tried to burn the death away
I searched and plotted and looked for a way
As you kept gouging open a healing sore
I found truth in what my fight was for
And I've tried to burn the death away

Email Alisha! Email Aubrey


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